And my words will be here when I'm gone

2004-11-16

What the fuck makes you think you can act this way towards people? Treat human beings like they're your playthings?

How can you accuse me, your goddamn daughter of the things YOU do...HAVE been doing for the past 16 years? And I know this was the way it was when Beth and Jimmy were young.

How do I let you do this to me? How have I let you do this?
How can you just continue cutting me open, let me put myself semi-together again and then just rip me open again?

How can you make me hate myself so goddamn much? Why do I still love you...when all you do is make me cry?

How many second chances have I given you?

Way to many to count.

I used to sit by the window and wait for you, I waited all day. Each time you'd call and say you'd come pick me up for the weekend. I waited until I fell asleep, and you never came.

I put you on a pedastal, when in reality you could never even see it.

Why cant you just leave me alone? Just leave and let me destroy myself on my own?

How can you call me tonight... to appologize for not coming to my play. How can you fucking call to appologize...and say it's my fault? How is it MY fault deer hunting season started? How is it MY fault you'd rather sit at a bar all night than call your daughter?

I have to lie to you, and tell you I'm a straight a student. Why? Because I'm scared. Scared to death of disappointing you!

Why?

I can't stand being alone with you...

I'm sorry.

It's all my fault.

If I say that will that make you stop?

How can a single person on this earth bear to be around you?

How can they bear to be around me?

I'm sitting here pouring my heart out to a computer screen. How much more pathetic could you get?

Well computer, I've said more to you than I have to my father my entire life.

Congradu fucking lations.

I hope you catch a nice deer.

phonecall leaving platform at 8:53 p.m.

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